So it's my last night home, i was suppose to go back to the city tonight but i ended up getting caught up with everyone and just staying. Plus dad was too tired to still take me around nine. Anyways i have now decided that i will probably never call Fordham U my home. Although it's home like and i love being there, it isn't the place that has made me who i am today. the people i just spent my entire weekend with are the people that make home for me what it is. it felt all so natural, and just how it always has but better since i appreciated it more. we hit up about every single food spot there was: wawa, Hoggie Haven, Chucks, Bagel Barn, Alfonsos. We blazed like you won't believe, but we like we are so use to. It was awesome. recapping on it, made me realize how much i actually did and how fulfilling it was.
Friday: i get home, immediately shower in my amazingg showerrr! Head over to bobby's hang out there for a bit, smoke, go to Alfonso's with the boys to get some grub. It was so nice having conversations with them, and i realize from being so out going to meet so many new people at FU, my conversations with them were even better, and they laughed at the shit i said. Then we went to eddy's watched some planet earth. Followed by me going home for a bit, heading over to adams so do some waterfalls, and then ADAM came home!!! my little bugger i love him so very much.
Saturday: Bagel Barn with everyone for like 3 hrs. (hah) then i ended up going home for a bit, heading over to adams, Haven, and home again to get ready for bobby's. Bobby's was the shit i told him to have a party, so he did. EVERYONE was there. it was just like it use to be, a bit smaller but a rage none the less. it was awesome seeing everyone although there were a few people who were there i would have been fine not seeing but whatever. I had been texting Kev the whole day to try to meet up and smoke but it never really worked out, so i told him to go to bobby's and surprisingly he showed up with alex. That was a nice surprise. The whole party was just awesome, i can't really explain it to you, but it was kinda like everyone i spoke to loves school, but can't compare it to Montgomery. It's so weird because like people go away to college and come back home and are like ughhh this is so gayyy, this is so high school, i hate this blahblahblah......we all love montgomery and miss it. a lot. Chris Belizzi and i spoke and were like college parties are the shit but since we don't really know anyone it's still in the awkward stage, where here you can go up to anyone you even barely know and figure out some weird memory between the two of you, because we all grew up together. We ended up staying the night at Stephanie Rose's house and that was good old fun. We had our bffeaeeaea moments and i miss those girls so much. My baby girls<3.
Sunday: woke up at Steph's, cuddled, then i went home showered got ready, mom and dad left for the asshole's 40th birthday party, which Jenny is making me and Gabby feel so guilty for not wanting to go, but fuck it i'm sorry i'm not going to put myself or let anyone force me into an awkward situation where i would rather live in a third world country for a day then be there. The stupid guy makes me feel like such shit about myself, and i never feel comfortable in their house when he's there, plus 98% of the time we leave with Gabby crying because he said something to hurt her feelings. Fuck him seriously, he sucks. And jenny is trying to tell mom that she's doing a bad job raising us because she saw a picture on facebook of gabby smoking a stogie. Like get with it, and get a life. You're just sad because you're missing out on good times, and are instead sleeping with an elf in your bed that doesn't have a dick. Wooooo he makes me angry. But anywayssss back to good stuff, Kevin came over. we were suppose to smoke but it didn't end up happening and we just watched tv for a good 2 hrs. It was so funny because he was so use to going into the computer room that he headed that way, and i was like my parents aren't home dude we can use the big couches this time. And then we went over how we could not believe we use to actually just sit on those couches, and figure out a way to hook up in them. haha. The conversation flowed pretty well, a little off, but i was expecting much worse. It was just really nice having him be able to be back in my life, as a friend, because i loved that kid more than just my boyfriend but as a friend while we were dating. At one point, we had been sitting on the same couch but not really near each other, and he looked at me and i don't know what came over him but he just grabbed me and hugged me and laid his head on my chest. And it was really nice just to hold him, without any negative feelings that we had between us. I was little hesitant about it because he is with that girl, but it didn't bother me at all. He was like my baby for so long, my project really because he confided in me so much. And i'm sure that she is doing that job now, but i can't see her giving him the advice, attention, and affection he needs. Kev is a really sensitive person and he just needs to be loved. he's grown up. I felt like i was in the notebook with the, you like different, the same, but different. he looks like a man now, and is filled out and has a tattoo of a fish, simply because he is obsessed with fish. We watched planet earth too that was fun. I left with such a high on my way to Adam's house to know that we can actually be friends now and communicate and hang out. Well i headed over to Adam's house when he left and walked right into a blunt session with dylan and taylor and andrew and adam. I walked in and was like perfect timing and of course they shared because they are my babies. We went to chucks form there and then dylan left. It was funny, we hugged and said goodbye and then when we were outside he said goodbye again and kissed me. It was a good weekend for the exs. That was followed by going back to adams, and then gabbys for the usual food and comfort, to adams again with gwenny and then to wawa and james'. James was another one that was really affectionate towards me, in our way. Not a sexual or anything way but just like he's my brother because i know him so well and love him so deeply but not my brother at all because that would be weird right? haha. I had to say bye to adam and him then which is the saddest because they are my true favorites. i just love them all. i really do. Mrs.Caruso was so happy to see us and like George put it, "you guys were my best friends so when you left me to go to college i was so sad". awww. Even the parents miss us. We are just too fucking awesome. Adam's roommate and Andrew said he's never ate, drank or smoked so much in a weekend at a time! haha!
Now i'm just sitting in my room, the place where i've slept the last 10 yrs of my life and i'm taking it all in. i really do love this place. And it gives me an empty feeling inside my stomach ot have to leave it. If i could i would just stuff everything into my pocket and pull it out if i needed a good smile or a laugh. I think i'm going to start working on a poetry piece about it. i must.
-Stephanie-
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