So the other night, Stephanie called me because she was bummed out. It was at 1:00am and i had just fallen asleep so for some reason i thought it was like 6am, and i was worried why she was calling me. She said that she feel really lonely at school, and that although she's met some great friends, while she was home, she realized how none of them compare to Gabs or I, or Colin, Mikey and everyone else. I was so upset that she was feeling this way, but I was also relieved because i didn't feel odd, being the one one with these feelings. She said the guy she likes B, was acting like he liked her back but that the when she went to their apartment to go hang out with him and his friends he had another girl in his room, and that she missed having someone consistent in her life like Mikey, and she just felt lonely. I talked her through it, and it really was a therapeutic session for both of us, because in the end i made her feel better and i figured out a lot of things for myself as well. Like boys especially are coming into college as freshmen and overwhelmed by the amount of opportunites that they are presented by the amount of girls that they see, and for that reason none of them are serious about finding someone they really like to hang out with and stick with.
For instance at home, you meet someone you like through school, you end up hanging out a few times, at school, events, parties, and then they become your friend, and then you start hooking up and it goes from there. Here your first impression means so much, that you may not come off the way you want to and no one really gives you a chance to prove who you really are. And because those first impressions are so pressured, you usually don't come off as you like. Like both me and Steph are pretty, cool, easygoing, fun girls and at home people get it and get who we are, but at school it's just so new and unnatural it's gonna take awhile. S. Rose said that she would do anything to have me and Gabs at school with her, and i have to agree they are my buffers, my bumpers, my rock and i would do anything to have them come and go to the same school as me, however this is what college is about, finding yourself, on your own, a fresh start.
I've decided that i am only going to do things now that make me feel good about myself and who i am, because if i want to find someone who truly likes me for me, then i have to be honest and only give them me. I have to stand by my morals, and what i believe in and take it from there because that's the only way i'm going to be happy and satisfied.
Victoria and i decided that we are going out this weekend and our goal is to meet and maybe kiss one cute guy. It's a MUST. and i'm excited to see how this plays out!!!!
-Stephanie-
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