So today is Jenna's birthday and we had a celebration. it was really cute and intimate and her mommy came down and it just looked like a typical birthday to me. I need to recap on the weekend because it's been long enough.
Friday- We went to union sq to this silent rave. Basically you bring your own ipod and listen to your own dance music and everyone dances, but if you're on the outside you can't hear anything. It's a pretty cool concept, we got messed up before we went and were literally dancing on the way to the subway, in the subway, walking out of the subway they whole way there. Then when we were leaving i realized my phone was gone because i couldnt find it, looked for it, but couldnt find it so we left, ended up leaving cameron and came back home. It kinda upset me that we left Cameron because friends don't do that and that's how you know if someone is truly your friend, however when i asked all of them if they;d leave me, they all said no and victoria said she would make flyers for me haha. She is a true friend. Then when i got back, i just felt odd (i may be pmsing) and i called mama to tell her i lost my phone or somesone stole it and she yelled at me and it just pissed me off that she could get so mad at me without even seeing me for so long. And i've just been having a bad week, j*** just made me feel like such crap about myself and lower my self confidence but i can't let that happen, i can't let a guy rule my emotions. I am the boss of me. I am happy on my own. I mean i really want a boyfriend but it can wait i'd rather have fun with myself. I feel like writing him a letter and explaining that i am not normally like the way i acted but i'm so confused from what guys want from girls. truly, truly confused i've been rejected from so many men lately and i know it looks strange but the only way i can talk my way through it and be stronger is to let it out. but seriously dylan, ireland, jay. i mean i'm sure ive broken alot of hearts. but it's not the same when its the other way around, it really sucks. plus that day my guardian angel broke and i'm supersticious so i really thought that meant something good. I was in a funk the whole week after being home last weekend because it made me even more homesick, and i now realize how last week was. i need to watch the secret and line what i want from the universe so it understands what i want, think postivie and fix my ways. this is gonna be a new chapter for me. CONFIDENCE CONFIDENCE CONFIDENCE.
Saturday- Met, Matt's Comedy club
Sunday-shopping with mom
-Stephanie-
p.s I really need to start reading and writing again and get serious
pps. St. Marks st is the place to go.
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